Suicide
This past month. I've come to the realization that you never really fully know a topic. There is always something new that you could learn. There is always a different perspective you have to consider. There is always something evolving.
I thought I knew about suicide and how to deal with it. I thought I became an expert on how to comfort myself, tell what the signs were and how to get that person help, to a tee . But the simple fact is that you never know what are truly the signs. How to identify it. It could be a number of different things, the stress, financial hardship, a break up, Chemical imbalance in the brain, or a mental illness.
But as you age, so does your perspective, and the thought process. Something you dealt with when you were 11 will feel extremely different when your 25. People say just be there, try to understand. But they don't tell you about the shock that you go through. The anger you start to feel when the person that attempts to commit suicide ends up being someone truly close to you. Probably someone you grew up with or someone in your family or your best friend.
We were just together. We were just laughing and playing. We were what we always were, best friends, united, together through the thick and thin. To then get a call not even 2 hours later saying " CHANA HE'S DYING" it's like your judgement is being shitted on. Not only did you think you would know, but you also thought he/she would call you if something was bothering them.
Not only did that not just destroy my judgement and my emotional state. But to see a huge sign on the floor saying " Please don't hurt my dog" as his 9 year old pit barked out of despair locked in the bathroom. His blood on the walls, on the door, on the floor. With a 10 inch Cutco hunting knife along side with it.
Authorities saying that they know how I feel, puffing out there chest and standing tall above me as if I didn't have the right to react. As if they understood where my train of thought was or if they knew what me and him have been through together. Man the anger that ran through me then, how it goes through me now.
How mad I was at myself for blaming myself for not being there, for not knowing, for not seeing. You come to the realization that you don't know shit. I didn't know a damn thing. And now all I could do is attempt to get educated and deal with the trauma the best way I know possible. The deal with it head on instead of around it.
If you dealt with this in one way or another please reach out. I'm open to quotes. Books, articles anything really? Open me up to your thoughts.
I thought I knew about suicide and how to deal with it. I thought I became an expert on how to comfort myself, tell what the signs were and how to get that person help, to a tee . But the simple fact is that you never know what are truly the signs. How to identify it. It could be a number of different things, the stress, financial hardship, a break up, Chemical imbalance in the brain, or a mental illness.
But as you age, so does your perspective, and the thought process. Something you dealt with when you were 11 will feel extremely different when your 25. People say just be there, try to understand. But they don't tell you about the shock that you go through. The anger you start to feel when the person that attempts to commit suicide ends up being someone truly close to you. Probably someone you grew up with or someone in your family or your best friend.
We were just together. We were just laughing and playing. We were what we always were, best friends, united, together through the thick and thin. To then get a call not even 2 hours later saying " CHANA HE'S DYING" it's like your judgement is being shitted on. Not only did you think you would know, but you also thought he/she would call you if something was bothering them.
Not only did that not just destroy my judgement and my emotional state. But to see a huge sign on the floor saying " Please don't hurt my dog" as his 9 year old pit barked out of despair locked in the bathroom. His blood on the walls, on the door, on the floor. With a 10 inch Cutco hunting knife along side with it.
Authorities saying that they know how I feel, puffing out there chest and standing tall above me as if I didn't have the right to react. As if they understood where my train of thought was or if they knew what me and him have been through together. Man the anger that ran through me then, how it goes through me now.
How mad I was at myself for blaming myself for not being there, for not knowing, for not seeing. You come to the realization that you don't know shit. I didn't know a damn thing. And now all I could do is attempt to get educated and deal with the trauma the best way I know possible. The deal with it head on instead of around it.
If you dealt with this in one way or another please reach out. I'm open to quotes. Books, articles anything really? Open me up to your thoughts.
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